I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
