The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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