Sry I called you an 8
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
