hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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