The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
