Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
