her vagine was all disorganized.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ladies don't puke and tell
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
