So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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