all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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