ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
