Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
