Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize