My balls are so social today.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
