the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize