Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
