i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
