Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
