Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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