youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
