don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Your dad touched me again.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
