Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize