Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
