You can't special order awesome
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
