pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize