Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
