...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
