Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
