1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize