Whod you bang
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
