he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
