you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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