I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
