I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
