I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
