omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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