thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
