its not stalking. its research.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I could fuck to npr.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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