i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
