dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
