I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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