Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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