You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
