im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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