haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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