Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
