i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize