Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
