So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
