Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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