i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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