I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
