They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
