He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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