Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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