he puts the penis in happiness.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
