Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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