I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
