Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
