Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
In America we eat man semen.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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