Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
