You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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