Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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