We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
