their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I want to fling myself into the sun
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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